I haven’t really blogged or anything in a really reallly really long time. But it’s better late than never. :) Um.. So let’s see.. I don’t know where to begin.. Life has definitely taken its toll on me. I don’t feel motivated anymore to do anything. You know that point in life where you just feel useless, and then you question whether or not your life is going to turn out how you want it to… Yeah, that’s how I’m feeling. It’s like I’m hanging on a thin rope off Mt. Everest, and I’m not really sure how to climb back up.

With school… It’s not even hard. Well no, I shouldn’t say that. It’s only hard because I’m lazy. I’m not going to come up with any excuses for this… I’m just being lame and lazy. Maybe I should start playing sports again.. That might give me the push I need to bring back my potential for making it… lol. 

Friends, well they come and they go. Some, I wish could stay… While others, I’m glad they left. I’m not really sure how to put it. My trust in some people has diminished. With the friends I have now, I feel more appreciated than I have ever felt. It just sucks to realize how  much you do for people, and they just toss it over their shoulder like it’s nothing. Then again, there’s always two sides to a story, I guess. If anything, I miss my cousins the most right now. I wish we could talk more, or see each other more. It’s always nice to know that I can always come and talk to them whenever I need someone to talk to.

Minus those two things, I think life is treating me well. My boyfriend is amazing. We work really well together as a team. Although, I think the start of our relationship started out a bit bumpy. I wasn’t expecting it at all. It just sort of.. popped up out of no where. But it’s always neat when two people discover that hidden spark underneath all the chaos. It’s great to find that person who I can completely be myself around again. Not worry too much about how I look, or what to say…  Plus it’s nice, because I’m still able to go out with my friends and have fun, without feeling too caged in. I’m not sure which direction we’re going, but I’m fine with just sitting back and enjoying the ride as much as I can.

Growing up, I always complained about how my family was structured. Now that I’m actually getting older, I realize how great it is that my family is actually structured this way, whichever way it may be. Sure, my brother and I share this love-hate relationship… Hate, more than anything. But at the end of the day, I can say that he cares for me, and that I care for his kids just as much. And yeah, hearing my mom’s constant nagging everyday ticks me off just a little too much.. Buuuut, I can understand that I’m her youngest daugheter, and I no longer live with her, so I guess it’s understandable. Also… It’s great to have my two sisters as my best friends. And my dad still spoils me as much as he can, despite all the problems he runs in to. I guess now, I appreciate my family more than ever…

Just recently, we received some news that one of my nieces has cancer. Well, she’s not really my niece, but she’s really close to our family, so we consider her our niece. Anyways, she’s 11, and she has thyroid cancer. I’m not really sure how anyone can tell an eleven year old that she cancer. It’s that type of situation where you feel completely useless because you can’t do anything to fix it. Kind of leaves me speechless…

Anyways.. This is my life in a nutshell. I kind of just wanted to get it off my chest.